MEDDING

Dear Reader,

This is the part in Painless Poker where I introduce a much needed new word to the gang at the Painless Poker Clinic…

“Medding is a catch-all word,” I said. “It refers to any type of intentional observation of your surroundings or yourself. If you hear car sounds going by, you’re medding. If you are walking and you say to yourself, I am walking, you’re medding. If you have food in your mouth and you monitor your chewing, you’re medding. If you think about the hand you just bubbled on, and then you think, I am thinking about the hand I just bubbled on, you’re medding. Last and most, if you straighten your spine or put attention on your breathing, you’re medding.”

“Is poker medding?” Babs said.

“It can be.”

“What about jogging?” Victor said. “Is that medding?”

“It depends,” I said.

I shared a quick chuckle with Alf and Charlie because It depends has become a punch line on internet poker forums by being the first two words of thousands of answers to poker strategy questions.

“It depends on your intention,” I said. “While you are jogging, or lifting weights or doing yoga or anything else for that matter, if you have no intention to try to tame your mind, then you’re not medding. And if you do, then you are.

“Among the nifty features of medding is that you always know when you are doing it, and you never know when you’re not. That’s because as soon as you realize you aren’t doing it and you think, I am not medding, then at that moment, you are medding, and you know it.”

Charlie said, “It sounds like medding is the same as going to level 2 and observing your thinking.”

“You could say that medding includes but is not restricted to any mental or physical action intended to temporarily place you or keep you at level 2.”

“Why temporarily? Why can’t I just stay at level 2?”

“I don’t know. I just know you can’t. The best you can do is go back and forth between medding and not medding.”

Alf said, “And why is this word needed?”

“The main reason is convenience. It’s quite handy to have all meditation-type concepts and actions stuffed into one word, so that instead of saying: I’ve done no mindful breathing today, or mindful walking or sitting or standing, and I have not observed my thoughts, or consciously listened to sounds, or adjusted my posture, or done any careful stretching, and I feel like crap, all you need to say is: I haven’t medded all day and I feel like crap.”

“Are you aware that you used your gerund, which is a noun, as a verb?”

“Quite. Mindfulness teacher Jon Kabat-Zinn was so desperate for a verb in this context that he made one up. He teaches that you can be awarenessing anywhere, such as walking down a hallway. I think awarenessing is good as a descriptor of what he’s talking about, but not so good for talking about it. Here’s an example sentence: On the way over here, I awarenessed in the car. Compare that to: On the way over here, I medded in the car.”

“Much better,” Alf said.

“I have also seen the word ‘mindfulnessing’ used in the same way. I remembered to do some mindfulnessing in the elevator.”

“Hideous.”

“True,” I said, “But keep in mind that the words awarenessing and mindfulnessing were invented to teach a lesson. Neither of them is an attempt to provide a word for common usage, which is what I’m after. A word that doubles as a noun and verb, and plays well with sentences.”

“Such as the word walk,” said Alf.

“Today I want to walk more than yesterday,” I said. “Today I want to med more than yesterday.”

Alf was right with me. “I am going for a walk. I am going for a med.”

“Sounds like pill popping to me,” said Sonny. “Why not just say I am going to med?”

“It all works,” I said. “Even without the grammatical analysis, I concluded that medding was a functional word based on one sentence a client wrote to me. He said, I am medding the shit out of my life.”

“I could probably use a dose of that,” Babs said, “whatever it is.”

I said, “The bonus reason for warming up to this word is that by thinking about it, you become more likely to do it.”

“The meme perpetuates the act,” Alf said.

“How is medding any different than mindfulness?” Charlie said.

“Here’s how Jon Kabat-Zinn defines mindfulness: Mindfulness is the awareness that arises through paying attention on purpose in the present moment, non-judgmentally.

“In his scenario, mindfulness is the awareness, and medding is paying attention on purpose.”

“I’m still hazy on how they relate,” said Charlie.

“Think of the relationship between food and cuisine. Mindfulness is to medding as food is to cuisine in that all cuisine is made of food, and all medding is made of mindfulness.”

I looked at Alf for validation and he brought support. “And one can enjoy many varieties of cuisines.”

“Just as you can enjoy many varieties of medding.”

“And cuisines are always about food,” Charlie said.

“And medding is always about mindfulness,” I said. “Remember earlier when I got all twisted up talking about mindfulness and awareness and stillness and the breathing and how they relate to each other? The way they relate is that all of that stuff is medding.”

Mick said, “And this medding is supposedly your cure-all for pain?”

“It cures my pain, yes.”

“Your pain? Don’t you think it would work on me?”

“I have no idea. I’m pretty sure it’s a freeroll though. None of my clients who have tried it has said, I started doing the breathing and it made everything worse.”

“Okay,” said Victor. “You’ve mentioned breathing a few times now as if it’s—”

“It’s not breathing,” I said. “It’s the breathing. As in, I have mentioned the breathing a few times now.”

“So what the hell is it?”

“The breathing is a way to keep you from getting upset by my bullshit.”

Victor got wider. “You’re impossible.”

I ahem-ed and kept going. “Research is mounting as to the relationship between brain activity and moods and meditation. The findings verify what every medder already knows. The work pays off. If someone wants to lose weight, what do they do?”

“Go on a diet,” Charlie said.

“Right. They change what they eat, to become less unhappy. They make a commitment, and if they stick with it, they feel better. Taking up medding is like starting a weight loss program, for losing mental weight.