Fault Lines

assume-the-position_fade_whiteWhose fault was it? According to Bob, it was Mary’s fault. But if you ask Mary, she’ll tell you it was Bob’s fault. Joe – (Joe is a big picture kind of guy) – Joe saw the whole thing, and he doesn’t think it was Bob’s fault, or Mary’s fault, because really, the problem started with something nasty that Susie said last week, which was probably the result of the way her mom raised her, so really it was all Susie’s mom’s fault.

But why stop there? Shouldn’t a logical examination of “first blame” always bring us to the same conclusion?

“It’s the universe’s fault!!”

Yes it should, except I’ve got an even better idea.

When I was growing up, two of the first things they taught me about God was that He is everywhere and you can’t see him. When I was learning physics, two of the first things they taught me about atoms was that they are everywhere and you can’t see them. Atoms are therefore God.

Like God and atoms, the universe is also everywhere. The difference is that the universe is not invisible. For me, this makes it much harder to blame things on the universe, since I have to look at it while I do so. I like the idea of shouting “It’s your fault” at something I can’t see. It appeals to my cowardice. So the universe is out of the running. The choice is God or atoms.

That’s an easy choice for me. Lots of people blame God for things. I’ve never heard of anyone blaming atoms. So I’ll do that.

I’m now ready. Maybe later today something will happen that makes me want to shake my fist in rage, and there won’t be anyone or anything I can blame for whatever happened, but that won’t stop me…

It’s those goddamn atoms! They fucked me again!



  • The Real Tommy Thompson Posted October 25, 2009 9:31 pm

    I still blame everything on McLean Stephenson, even though he’s dead. He always was just so damned SHIFTY. . . .

    Hey, I recently joined the blogging ranks myself, still not sure it’s something I’ll like well enough to stick to, but check me out if you get a minute.

  • dave smith Posted October 25, 2009 9:53 pm

    We know for sure; It’s not my fault.

  • blaargh Posted October 26, 2009 8:37 am

    I’m much more practical. I use my brainwaves to rearrange the atoms of the card faces to be whatever card I need. It gets a little embarrassing when my opponent is holding that same card but that’s when I can blame the ultimate scapegoat.

    I blame the fucking dealer.

  • niffe9 Posted November 4, 2009 8:33 am

    When chance pops its head in against our favor our mind scrambles to blame our shortcomings on anything that is somewhat plausible and justifiable before taking full responsibility for our part in the outcome.

    Fault generally can’t be squarely blamed on one particular person or thing. Mary is partially to blame, Bob is at fault for what he did Tuesday, luck played a major factor over here, and it all happened within the nature and rules of the universe.

  • TR Posted November 18, 2009 1:36 pm

    You’re a funny dude Tommy.

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