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Breath Taking
Breathing in, I am aware that I am breathing in. Breathing out, I am aware that I am breathing out. In this way, I train myself.
Breathing in, I am aware that I am sitting at a poker table. Breathing out, I smile to the poker universe. Breathing in, I watch the cards being dealt. Breathing out, I observe the players on my left. Breathing in, I look at my cards. Breathing out, I fold.
Breathing in, I watch the hand play out. Breathing out, I know that I am breathing out. Breathing in, I am aware that air is entering my body. Breathing out, I notice my fingers. Breathing in, I am aware that a player is thinking about his decision on the river. Breathing out, I watch him call. Breathing in, I watch the called player turn over the nuts. Breathing out, I hear the caller curse briefly. Breathing in, I am aware that I understand the cause of the caller's discomfort. Breathing out, I send him some ease. Breathing in, I erect my spine and I know that I am preparing myself to receive the next hand. Breathing out, I am perfect and I notice the sounds of poker.
Breathing in, I am aware that I am breathing in a short breath. Breathing out, I am aware that I am breathing out a short breath. Breathing in, I know that I am breathing in a long breath. Breathing out, I know that I am breathing out a long breath. Breathing in, I calm my mind. Breathing out, I calm my body. In this way, I train myself.
Breathing in, I look at my cards. Breathing out, I know that one is an ace and the other a king. Breathing in, I move chips from my stack across the betting line. Breathing out, I await and observe the decisions of my opponents. Breathing in, I see them folding. Breathing out, I see the player on my right raise. Breathing in, I call. Breathing out, I see the dealer thumbroll an aceless, kingless flop. Breathing in, I watch the player on my right prepare to bet. Breathing out, with anticipation, I time it so that at the moment he bets, my lungs are empty, and I dispatch my cards into the muck with the tip of my thumb, expending the least possible energy.
Breathing in, I am completely aware that I am breathing in and that my lungs are inflating. Breathing out, I know that right now I am breathing out. In this way, I train myself.
Breathing in, I post a big blind. Breathing out, I see the player on my left post a straddle. Breathing in, I hear the cards coming off the deck. Breathing out, I look at my cards and I determine that I will fold when it is my turn. Breathing in, I am grateful for this opportunity to relax and be still. Breathing out, I fold and I notice my own gratefulness.
Breathing in, I see a player bet the flop. Breathing out, I see the other players in the pot fold. Breathing in, I hear the winner's remark and a reply. Breathing out, I intentionally shape my body as I please. Breathing in, I post a small blind. Breathing out, I watch the dealer's hands deliver the cards. Breathing in, I look at the big blind as he looks at his cards. Breathing out, I look at my cards -- 9-4 off-suit. Breathing in, I decide to pay close attention to the action and to not decide yet what I will do at my turn. Breathing out, I watch a player raise. Breathing in, I decide now not to reraise. Breathing out, it is my turn, and I fold.
Breathing in, I pay attention to my in-breath at my nose. Breathing out, I make my out-breath even and long. In this way, I train myself. Breathing in, I am aware that I have the button. Breathing out, I perfect myself, I hear the poker sounds, I look at my cards -- 8-6 of clubs -- a vulnerable player limps, I look to the left as the action approaches me, I raise, the small blind calls, the big blind folds, the limper calls, the flop comes, they check to me, I bet, the small blind calls, the limper folds, the turn comes, the small blind checks, I check, the river comes, he bets, I call, he says "You got me," I show my cards, he mucks, I hear someone say "He's a moron," the dealer's eyes smile at mine as I tip, the next hand is dealt, I'm in the cutoff, I look at my cards -- A-5 off-suit -- the same player limps, I look left, the button indicates that he is folding, I raise, the button folds, the small blind folds, the big blind reraises, the opener folds, I fold, I sit back, and...
Breathing in, I notice that I have not noticed my breathing for a while. Breathing out, I remind myself to remind myself to do better at reminding myself to remember to remember to remember to, ah, to remember. With each aware breath, I rejoin, I recombine, I become a member again, I re-member.
Breathing in, I know that I am breath taking. Breathing out, I know that everything is breathtaking. Until death do I live.
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