A Hilarious True Email

Dear readers,

My cousin A.J. sent me an email and then called me right away and instructed me to read the email to him over the phone. I faithfully obeyed, and a few minutes later we were both gasping with laughter. The email, below, was written by a friend of AJ’s named Wendy. That’s all I knew. That’s all you need to know. Happy gasping…

Where do I start..this morning my phone seemed to have lost all battery over night.  Charged it about 1/2 and went to work.  Get off at 7:30 PM  check phone..have 2  msgs. Driving, so wait till I get to Target parking lot(had some coupons to redeem) and proceed to check msgs. 1st one from Stephanee, she writes “guess what I’m having for dinner? A bacon wrapped- deep fried- chili cheese hotdog w/onions, mustard, and fritos!” I write back ‘ call the medics’ my phone wont send, says to send again , I do, says it wont send try again, I do,says it wont send try again I do, then I give up and check 2nd message which is from a  number I don’t know, asking if I could keep her cats  for a few hours while she has her air ducts cleaned.  Not sure who this is..write back, “who is this?”  then think probably my neighbor so text again, “Is this you Teri?”  Phone says wont go through try again, I do then close phone..battery almost gone again so leave phone in car while I go shopping.  taking good ole time, no hurry, no worry.  Get to check out, almost through there when a policeman comes up and asks..” are you Wendy Lee?”  Yes  “Are You alright?”   UM..Yeah, why do you ask?

“We got a call from your daughter saying you texted her to call the medics..so she did, they’re checking your house and your daughter is heading to Target to see if you’re okay”   “OMG, I texted her that message cause she told me she was eating crappy food..can you call her? I left my phone in the car”  He gets on his shoulder walkie talkie, they tell Steph I’m at Target and all’s okay..she’s almost there.  We go out to car there’s 2 cop cars, 3 cops,  I tell them how sorry I am about a bazillion times, and I’m telling them about my phone being messed up and finally get to car and actually show them the text Steph sent me and what I sent her…there it all is..her message to me and mine to her..” Call the medics”   THREE TIMES!  One of the policemen jokingly said  ” so this all her fault” I said “of course, if she’d eat healthy this would never have happened” Poor Steph got the messages one after the other..Call the medics, she tried to call me 8 times I never answered (I had left the phone in my car! )

So she called the medics…and  Brandee and Debbie and my neighbor Teri and some other friends before she got call from cops I was at Target.

She pulled up then and we hugged and cried and discussed the events, called Brandee who was trying to book flight out of Dallas, and my Sister Debbie who was in Columbus at Pam’s,(they discussed how they pictured me laying on the floor texting ‘call the medics’) and my neighbor Teri who told me how the fire trucks came and the firemen went through my house looking for my dead body. ( I was very glad I had cleaned my kitchen and made my bed before heading to work this AM!)   so Steph and I are feeling calmer and I remember about the other text about cats and air ducts, so I ask Teri about that and she says she has no idea what I’m talking about!    Finally get home and see new text from my daughter Pam’s cousin who accidentally blanket texted the message about the cats.   Whew.  Alls well that ends well as my son-in-law Jimmy texted me.. actually he wrote   ‘All in all that is funny in the end’ and he didn’t think it sounded right,  “that would not be your last text to the girls”   I told him he’s right…I would have asked for ‘hot’ medics.  Bottom line my dearest friends, be very careful what you write in your texts..you just don’t know how things will be construed. and remember if something wacky does happen to me.. adios Amigos  .. I Love You All  !!!

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